


Invincible, Invisible

by AlterImpulse



Category: Xenogears
Genre: Allegory, Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Genocide, Hatred, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, POV First Person, Politics, Pre-War, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Self-Reflection, Short One Shot, Solaris (Xenogears), War, anti nazi writer does anti nazi take on space nazis via space nazi character, could be allegorical to some real life current events or just inspired, political fiction, set at some point before the fall of Solaris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 18:05:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15030296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlterImpulse/pseuds/AlterImpulse
Summary: Hyuga Ricdeau/Citan Uzuki reflects upon himself and Solaris.  Could be allegorical to some certain real world political situations if you choose to read that into it, so I've tagged accordingly





	Invincible, Invisible

From the inside, it becomes invisible. Even, to some degree, from the outside.

From the outside, it is as the closest thing to a visible, tangible, evidence based “God” as one can find, and as a result, it is just there. No one but the insane would consider bringing it challenge, most happily partake of the good it unquestionably provides, and at the same time know the depths of evil and hatred to which it can, in a moment, dive, to vent its wrath on those below.

From the inside, it is home. It is the place in which we grew up regardless of our positions and states, the society we were trained from almost birth to respect, to pledge our deepest allegiances to, to believe was something, an idea, a unitary force for good and human advancement. We have military supremacy over the entire planet. At least at our higher levels, we have intellectual knowledge and advanced technology that few if any can match, and pioneered its spread through the rest of our planet.

(Although, some of our more pathetic are equally unskilled and uneducated and hopeless as anyone can be, but then that is why they are pathetic, why they are only given enough to survive and kept in their places until the mercy of death relieves them and us of their sufferings.)

It is, invisible in both ways. To the outsider and insider both, its presence is simply there, simply a fact of life and one most of us could never imagine life without. Whether it is one below us wishing for us to bestow gifts and to bring them up rather than bring them to the slaughter, or one inside of us negotiating everyday life, it is the same.

Oh… Everyday life. I must have digressed, my apologies for that. If one expected to see something different, a physical sign, to hear a voice screaming down from above, perhaps? That never would have happened, at least to the average person of a certain status within society. Maybe the closest you might have experienced was a bureaucratic mixup, a moment where everything hung in the balance, but it was, in the end, just a momentary misunderstanding. You would never be executed or locked in a cage or forced to the lowest point of society, because you learned how to obey, what to say, how to maintain.

So, everyday life. Normal enough, by any standard. The skies were blue, or gray, or whatever other color the weather conditions provided. Nothing seemed too unusual in any way, especially to those born into high technology and the little luxuries that, admittedly, made life far more enjoyable at points. People interacted fairly ordinarily amongst each other, a complex system of rules of civility and engagement. Except, too often, those rules also codified the system to keep those of certain positions within it invisible and even to beg for their own deaths.

You might want to know when the moment is, the moment we were torn down and forced to look upon all we have done. That moment, if it is to come, is often far too late to be of use to anyone, and you should not wish for it, because what ensues consumes everyone - baby and commander, the one who begs for escape and the one who enslaves alike.

The moment you wish to look for comes within your own minds, your own hearts, and it can be too easy to overlook. It is the moment when you look upon the dead, the dying, and realize they are not below you, that you and them are the same in one sense, even if not in circumstance. It is the moment when you hear of “them” discriminated against, locked in cages, slaughtered in war, tortured and abused in all manners possible - and you turn away. “But for the grace of God go I,” and the moment that has become your mantra as you maintain, that is the moment you are not anything above, not anything more than another snake slithering through the nest.

Yet, even in that moment, life happens. It is not if someone comes in with a marching goose-stepping band and a loud announcement that This Is The Bad Place Now, and by that point, if they did they would at best be laughed at and ignored early on, and killed mid sentence if a bit later onwards for making such a parody, or for being so open and so embarrassing. (There is always a reason for the missteps, even if it contradicts the reason you heard given the day beforehand…)

Instead, everyone must go on living. The decisions of those in charge do not take away your needs for food, shelter, care of your body even if they affect them. Until the very end, and the bullets and bombs and everything else is flying, and those without sense or reason are in charge and everyone’s life is in danger, and possibly well into that, day to day life happens. Births and natural deaths, its triumphs and tragedies, its little moments of pleasure and agony, everything that matters the world to you and your friends and family, and does not matter on the stage of events, except, perhaps, en masse.

It is only in introspection and in retrospect that the worst is seen. In those moments, you are yourself beginning the albeit dangerous process of challenging the system as it exists within you. It cannot stop there, though, as if it ends with observations such as these which you have read to this point… you will simply be a more knowing participant, still complicit, still a part, regardless of intentions or motives.

As I am.

As are we all.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. 
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End file.
